I’m Dan. I’m a writer.

You can find my writing everywhere from The Onion to Pitchfork to Polygon. I’ve also built a sizable following for myself on social media.

My debut novel, I Am Not A Wolf was released in May of 2021 by Andrews McMeel. It was named one of New York Magazine's funniest books of 2021.

I’ve also spent the last three years writing for the massively popular card game, Magic: The Gathering. I’ve contributed art briefs, creative text, and short fiction since I began working with Wizards of the Coast in 2021.

I frequently publish short pieces of comedic social commentary in my popular newsletter, Brain Worms.

I’m currently represented by Alexandra Franklin at Curtis Brown.

If you’re looking for more information regarding who I am and what I do, I have incredible news for you: that’s the only reason this website is here.